April 23, 2012

"carolina girl" or "hells belles"

taking a break from the running updates to talk about something that continues to surprise me, the surprise on west coasters faces when i can do something they don't expect.

some examples? change a tail light, drive an suv, drive an suv that's 4wd, drive an suv with 4wd that's also a stick shift. i haven't figured out where the shock comes from, the only thing i can figure is i'm a girl. this is pretty weird considering i see girls driving around in suvs all over la. i don't dress particularly girly, tho one of the tail light changes did occur while wearing heels after work but still, it's la, everyone wears heels.

friday i had the unfortunate task of venturing into what i can only assume is the atrium to the gate way to hell: the glendale dmv. after being pulled over in november for expired out of state tags and subjected to such witty banter as "nc huh? did you drive in today?" umm, no. "are you planning on driving back tonight?" umm, no. being threatened with impounding my vehicle i promised to take care of getting registered in ca. i got my extension notice warning me that if it were not taken care of and my "bail" paid by 3.26.12 i could have my license suspended and a warrant issued for my arrest. (already had one of those for a speeding ticket, mom hung it on the fridge) i should prob take care of this huh?

i arrived at the dmv at 7:30am, the line was already 7 people deep. i arrived with as much paperwork as i could find, having lost my expired registration paper months ago. i knew i had most of what i needed, i planned to talk my way around the rest. after about a 20 min wait, i went to see dmv worked #1. #1 looked at my papers and handled the drivers license form, dmv works #2 would have to do the registration. here we go, let the tap dancing begin.

i had an answer for everything.

why don't you have your registration? - i had my car detailed and i think the guy threw it away (could be true). nc won't send me a replacement b/c it's so far out of registration the plate doesn't exist to them (this is actually true).

"why don't you have the title?" - usaa still holds the title until it's paid off next year.

"we need the original title" - ok, i'm on the phone with usaa, there's no way in hell they are sending the original. can you take a fax?

"no, only the original, they will have to mail it" -  (to usaa) they say you have to mail it. crazy right? i don't know why. i mean who would give them the original?

"ok fine, my boss says we can except the fax" - great! (score 1 for me)

off i go to take my test, something that has not plagued me since i was 16. note to future ca test takers, only half of the questions appear on the 6 practice tests online. did you know it is illegal to smoke in a car with a person under 18 present? did you know you can legally park 18 inches from the curve? no wonder the streets feel so narrow. i took it twice. i don't think they're supposed to let me, the lack of coffee must have been showing b/c after a minute or two of thinking it over, she handed me a new test. only missed 2, passed!

back to dmv #2

"ok, you need the smog test, the dmv verification form and the nc registration form" - ok, but i can't get the registration form from nc

"you won't be able to get the plates with out it" - i have my nc plates with the sticker on it. i've called nc and they have nothing they can send. would you like me to call them right now?

"no, that's fine. take care of the rest and we'll deal with it last" - ok

off to the smog check which is kind of like the nc inspection but more pointless. good cookies at the place tho.

next the dmv verification. the man with the clip board asks me if i am able to pop the hood. umm, yes. i unlatch the sides, pop it up and let him take a look. yup, that's a v6. yes it's 4wd. yes it's a stick shift. no i haven't thought about trading for an automatic even in this traffic. yes that's the milage. no i'm not being snotty by calling it a wrangler unlimited, that means it has 4 doors. everything matches up and it's back inside for me.

this time i have to wait in line for a number to be helped. the dmv is at fire marshal capacity by now, it's 10:30am, i've been here 3 hours. when my number is called i am assigned to dmv worker #3 who happens to sit next to #2. i hand her all my paperwork and wait for the registration question.

"i need the old registration card" - i don't have it, lost at car wash, nc won't send new one, #2 knows all about it

with all the grace of paul rudd trowing his lunch away she slams open her file drawer, pulls out 2 ca tags, staples some stickers to the registration form and tells me to have a nice day.

ha! i win! so now i'm officially a ca resident, the license will be here in 2 weeks

*so i meant to post this weeks ago. i have my license and let me tell you, they put your weight right smack dab on the front, how rude!


  1. That sounds TERRIBLE. It literally made me feel head-achy to think about sitting there going over and over that stuff with people who are angry and underpaid and could give 2 shits about whether or not you get arrested if you don't get this taken care of. How does it feel to be a CA resident? I hope it was worth it! I want to see a pic of your new license!

  2. I want to see the picture! Congrats on becoming a resident. :)

  3. You fresh CA resident you! They put your weight on the front...RUDE! I also wanna see the new license :)